Generally speaking, breakup is a mental and behavioral state wherein a person feels totally frustrated and devastated owing to a loss. Each one of us may respond in a different way, however responses such as sadness, irritability, grief, hopelessness and withdrawal are common. There is ambivalence in thinking – One moment you may become totally accepting of the situation and another moment totally withdrawn. Confusion can surround, with no clue how to get over the emotional trauma and loss.
The emotional pain caused by a break-up is such that it triggers the brain in the same manner as when experiencing physical pain and then sets in the cycle of grief. Grief progresses in stages and often overlap with each other. These are:
Denial: Initially , you’ll deny the entire situation as if nothing really happened. (“It is just a small fight. Everything will be fine soon”)
Anger: However, then you notice that the opposite person is missing or the connection isn’t an equivalent anymore, this causes you Anger (‘What does he think of himself? I hate him’).
Bargain: In a quest, to decrease your anger and feel better you are trying to Bargain and trying to regain control over things . (“If only I was more available, then maybe she would not have ended this’)
Depression: After actively working to regain control but with no results, Depression sets in (‘Why am I even alive?’) then a state of passiveness and inactivity follows where you begin battling your thoughts and emotions. this is often where you’ve got to place in conscious effort to urge back to life again. However, if you discover yourself cursed with depressive thoughts and can’t advance , then ask a mental health expert to assist you deal with grief.
Acceptance: The intention is to return to a state of Acceptance (‘We did have our differences and moving on is best for both of us’). Accepting it doesn’t necessarily means happiness or immediate upliftment but it does offer you a way of control over the selection you made and a path to maneuver on during a healthy way.
Mind & Mood Clinic, Nagpur
We understand that every relationship is unique and requires non judgmental approach and psychological help to tide over breakup. We have devised 6 week program for breakup/ divorce counseling in which we help our clients with psychoeducation, improving coping skill, manage anger and irritability. Each session covers talk therapy , books to read, emotional regulation, setting firm boundaries, developing better coping skills and support. We have helped many clients going through breakup/ heartbreak or divorce with great success and recovery. At Mind & Mood Clinic, Nagpur we value your privacy and provide online counselling as well for break up that is safe, secure, encrypted and above all affordable.
Dr. Rameez Shaikh (MBBS, MD, MIPS) is a consultant Psychiatrist & Psychotherapist in Nagpur and works at Mind & Mood Clinic. He believes that faith-based treatment, encompassing spiritual, physical, and mental health, will provide you with the long-lasting knowledge and tool to find happiness and wholeness again. In his spare time, he’s an aspiring singer and writer.