Relationships have always been complex. Ever since humans started pairing off, there’s been love and tension, harmony and conflict. But many people today feel things are harder than before — especially when it comes to marriage.
In recent years, we’ve seen both divorce rates and stories of infidelity in India enter mainstream conversation. Divorce is still less common here than in many Western countries, but it’s definitely trending upward, especially in urban areas. In cities like Bengaluru, for example, infidelity and unmet emotional needs are increasingly talked about as part of relationship breakdowns. (Deccan Herald) And celebrity marriages — from cricket stars to actors — have also brought the topic of cheating and separation into the public eye. (The Times of India)
So what’s really going on underneath the headlines?
🌏 1. Changing Social Norms and Expectations
Marriage used to be viewed as a permanent life contract — something you stayed in no matter what. But today’s younger generations often value personal happiness, communication, and emotional fulfillment more than older norms suggested. Modern partners don’t just want to stay in marriage — they want it to feel good and meaningful.
This doesn’t mean people give up easily. Instead, many people are less willing to tolerate emotional neglect, disrespect, or incompatibility for decades. And because divorce is slowly becoming socially more acceptable, more couples are choosing separation over silent suffering. (LinkedIn)
💼 2. Financial Independence and Autonomy
This is a huge factor, especially in cities. As women’s education and employment have increased, economic independence has given many partners a real choice — to stay or to leave if the marriage isn’t working.
In earlier generations, financial dependence often kept unhappy spouses together. Today, that safety net doesn’t exist for many — which is a positive thing, but it also means marriages face less external “pressure to stay together”. (bhatlalawfirm.com)
🧠 3. Communication Breakdown
This is something I see again and again in practice.
Miscommunication isn’t just “not talking enough.” It includes:
- Avoiding difficult conversations
- Assuming your partner should know how you feel
- Repeating old arguments without resolution
When couples don’t learn to communicate appetite for emotional closeness — or feel unheard — resentment builds slowly but relentlessly.
This is one of the most common themes in divorces and breakups reported by couples and counsellors alike. (VakeelSaab)
💔 4. Infidelity and Trust Issues
Stories of cheating or emotional drifting might seem like modern phenomena because they hit our news feeds more often. But what’s interesting is how the meaning of infidelity has changed.
A recent survey found that while actual cheating may be declining in India, many couples still struggle with emotional and digital infidelity — texting, emotional attachment outside the marriage, online flirting — all of which erode trust. (www.ndtv.com)
Once trust is broken, rebuilding it is a long, delicate process — and for many couples it becomes the tipping point toward separation.
🏡 5. Family Pressure and Interference
Indian marriages often involve more than just two people — families play a big role.
Excessive parental or in-law interference — crossing boundaries, meddling in decisions, or creating alliance pressures — can create persistent conflict. Research shows this is a significant contributor to marital instability in India. (PMC)
💼 6. Economic & Work-Life Stress
City life isn’t easy: long commutes, hectic jobs, financial goals, career ambitions — all of these place stress on time, energy, and patience.
When work stress spills into home life without effective coping systems in place, couples often end up feeling emotionally distant or disconnected rather than supported.
📉 7. Evolving Gender Roles and Shared Responsibilities
As traditional roles shift, couples sometimes struggle to renegotiate expectations.
Some partners still subconsciously hold onto old gendered roles — while the other expects more equality or support. This mismatch can become a source of frequent conflicts.
📊 What the Data Shows
A long-term analysis suggests that even though India’s overall divorce rate remains lower than in many other countries, it has risen significantly over the past few decades, particularly among urban and educated couples. In some cities, divorce has risen by 40% or more in recent years. (IJFMR)
The typical age group filing for divorce tends to be mid-20s to mid-30s, indicating that many marriages are ending relatively early when expectations clash with lived realities. (IJFMR)
🧠 Why It Feels Harder Today
In my practice as a psychiatrist and counsellor, I often hear:
“We love each other but we lost each other somewhere.”
“We used to talk endlessly; now we don’t talk at all.”
“I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to stay unhappy either.”
These sentiments reflect a deeper truth: marriage isn’t just about love — it’s about communication, shared coping skills, mutual respect, emotional safety, and personal growth.
When any of these areas weaken, stress accumulates — and problems that once felt manageable can feel overwhelming.
🌱 Not All Breakups Are Failures
One of the biggest shifts I see is this: people are no longer staying in relationships they find emotionally unhealthy, abusive, or incompatible.
Earlier generations might have stayed silent due to stigma or financial dependence. Now people are recognising that a peaceful separation can be healthier than a toxic union.
🧠 Therapy Can Support Relationships
Couple therapy, communication skills training, emotional regulation work, and individual PTSD or anxiety support — all of these help partners reconnect, or at least part ways respectfully.
Relationships are not inherently doomed — they’re just more complex when both individuals have high expectations, busy lives, and emotional needs that may have been unexpressed before.
📝 Takeaway
Marriage in India is evolving — influenced by:
- Financial independence
- Social change
- Legal awareness
- Higher expectations for happiness
- Urban stress
- Emotional communication gaps
Divorce and cheating stories aren’t just “trends” — they reflect deep cultural and psychological changes in how we view commitment, personal fulfilment, and intimacy.
As a clinician, I see this not as a moral failure, but as a shift in expectations — and an opportunity to support healthier, more conscious relationships.
🧠 Disclaimer
This article is for educational and informational purposes only and does not substitute for professional psychiatry or psychological advice. Always consult a qualified mental health professional for personalized evaluation and treatment.
Dr. Rameez Shaikh, MD
Mind & Mood Clinic, Nagpur
Contact: +91-8208823738
Dr. Rameez Shaikh (MBBS, MD, MIPS) is a consultant Psychiatrist, Sexologist & Psychotherapist in Nagpur and works at Mind & Mood Clinic. He believes that science-based treatment, encompassing spiritual, physical, and mental health, will provide you with the long-lasting knowledge and tool to find happiness and wholeness again.
Dr. Rameez Shaikh, a dedicated psychiatrist , is a beacon of compassion and understanding in the realm of mental health. With a genuine passion for helping others, he combines his extensive knowledge and empathetic approach to create a supportive space for his patients.
