A psychiatrist’s reflection from the clinic
I meet young people every day who are surrounded by people, yet painfully alone.
They come from cities and small towns, hostels and high-rise apartments, medical colleges and IT offices. On paper, their lives look “sorted.” But when the door closes and the session begins, one sentence keeps coming back:
“Doctor, I don’t feel connected to anyone.”
Loneliness among Indian youth is no longer rare. It is becoming quietly common, deeply misunderstood, and often dismissed as “overthinking” or “phone addiction.” As a psychiatrist, I want to say this clearly:
Loneliness is not a weakness. It is a psychological signal.
Loneliness vs Being Alone (They Are Not the Same)
Many young people tell me,
“I’m okay being alone, but I feel lonely even in a crowd.”
That distinction matters.
- Being alone is a physical state
- Loneliness is an emotional experience of disconnection
A student can live in a packed hostel and still feel invisible.
A young professional can attend office parties and still feel unseen.
A teenager can have 2,000 Instagram followers and still feel emotionally abandoned.
Loneliness is not about numbers.
It is about meaningful emotional bonds.
Why Are Indian Youth Feeling More Lonely Than Ever?
1. Changing Family Structures
Joint families once acted as emotional buffers. Today, nuclear families, working parents, migration for education and jobs—all reduce daily emotional availability.
Many young people grow up without safe emotional spaces, even within loving families.
2. Academic & Career Pressure
From NEET and JEE to UPSC, CAT, corporate targets, and start-up culture—worth is often measured by performance.
When a young person starts believing:
“If I don’t succeed, I don’t matter”
loneliness quietly sets in.
3. Social Media: Connected but Not Held
Social media creates comparison without connection.
- Everyone looks happy
- Everyone seems ahead
- No one talks about emptiness
Young minds start asking:
“Why am I the only one feeling this way?”
They are not. But loneliness thrives in silence.
4. Emotional Invalidation
Many Indian youth grow up hearing:
- “Don’t be weak”
- “Others have it worse”
- “Focus on studies, feelings will pass”
Over time, emotions are suppressed, not processed.
Suppressed emotions often return as loneliness, anxiety, or depression.
5. Relationship Confusion
Dating apps, situationships, ghosting, fear of commitment—connections are frequent but shallow.
Young people crave emotional security, but are stuck in cycles of emotional unpredictability.
How Loneliness Shows Up Clinically
Loneliness does not always say, “I am lonely.”
Instead, it often appears as:
- Persistent sadness or emptiness
- Anxiety without a clear reason
- Sleep disturbances
- Overthinking and rumination
- Loss of motivation
- Excessive phone use
- Substance use (alcohol, cannabis)
- Feeling “numb” rather than sad
Many patients come seeking treatment for anxiety or insomnia, only later realizing loneliness is the root.
The Dangerous Myth: “This Is Just a Phase”
One of the biggest mistakes is assuming loneliness will automatically pass.
Untreated loneliness can evolve into:
- Clinical depression
- Social anxiety
- Low self-esteem
- Emotional dependency
- Self-harm thoughts
Loneliness is not dramatic.
It is slow, quiet, and corrosive.
What Actually Helps
As a psychiatrist, I’ve learned that telling young people to
“go out more” or “make friends” rarely works.
What helps is depth, not distraction.
1. One Emotionally Safe Connection
You don’t need many people.
You need one person where you don’t have to perform.
2. Learning Emotional Language
Many young people feel lonely because they cannot express what they feel.
Therapy helps translate:
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me”
into
“I feel unseen, unheard, and disconnected.”
Naming emotions reduces loneliness.
3. Rebuilding Identity Beyond Achievement
When self-worth is only performance-based, failure equals isolation.
Mental health work focuses on:
- Values
- Meaning
- Self-compassion
4. Structured Professional Support
Sometimes loneliness is not just social—it is neurobiological.
Depression, social anxiety, trauma, and attachment issues can all block connection, even when people are available.
In such cases, psychotherapy and, when indicated, medication can be life-changing.
A Message to Indian Youth Reading This
If you feel lonely, it does not mean:
- You are weak
- You are boring
- You are broken
It means:
Your emotional needs are unmet.
And unmet needs deserve attention, not shame.
A Message to Parents & Society
Please understand this generation is not fragile—
they are carrying emotional burdens silently.
Listening without fixing.
Validating without judging.
Supporting without comparing.
These are not luxuries. They are necessities.
Final Words from the Clinic
Loneliness is one of the most treatable emotional pains—
once it is acknowledged.
If you are a young person struggling silently, or a parent worried about your child, seeking professional help is not an overreaction.
It is emotional first aid.
And sometimes, that one conversation is enough to remind someone:
“I am not alone in feeling alone.”
— Dr. Rameez Shaikh, MD
Psychiatrist | Mind & Mood Clinic
(This blog is for educational purposes and not a substitute for professional consultation.)
Dr. Rameez Shaikh (MBBS, MD, MIPS) is a consultant Psychiatrist, Sexologist & Psychotherapist in Nagpur and works at Mind & Mood Clinic. He believes that science-based treatment, encompassing spiritual, physical, and mental health, will provide you with the long-lasting knowledge and tool to find happiness and wholeness again.
Dr. Rameez Shaikh, a dedicated psychiatrist , is a beacon of compassion and understanding in the realm of mental health. With a genuine passion for helping others, he combines his extensive knowledge and empathetic approach to create a supportive space for his patients.
