Trigger Warning: This article discusses suicide, emotional distress, and student mental health. If you are feeling overwhelmed or having thoughts of self-harm, please seek immediate help from a trusted person or mental health professional.
The recent news published in The Times of India about a Class 12 student in Nagpur who died by suicide after returning home from her exam has shaken many of us.
One exam.
One afternoon.
One life gone.
As a psychiatrist, and more importantly as a human being, I cannot read such news as just another report. I see what may lie beneath — silent suffering, unspoken fear, untreated depression, overwhelming pressure, and perhaps a desperate belief that there was “no way out.”
This is not only about exam stress.
This is about what we are missing.
Was It Really “Just Exam Stress”?
Every year, board examinations in India carry enormous emotional weight. Class 12 is often portrayed as a life-defining moment. Students are told:
- “This will decide your future.”
- “One mistake can ruin everything.”
- “Don’t disappoint us.”
But here is the truth:
No single exam decides a life.
Yet, many young minds believe it does.
When a student dies by suicide after an exam, we must ask:
Was this one bad paper?
Or was this the last straw on top of months — maybe years — of silent emotional suffering?
What Hurts the Most?
What hurts the most is this possibility:
She may have been struggling long before the exam.
Many adolescents who die by suicide were not “weak.”
They were overwhelmed.
They were exhausted.
They were afraid of failing expectations.
They were possibly battling an undiagnosed mental health disorder.
Depression in teenagers does not always look like sadness.
It can look like:
- Irritability
- Anger
- Withdrawal
- Loss of interest
- Sleep changes
- Excessive perfectionism
- Sudden hopeless statements
Sometimes they smile in front of parents.
Sometimes they say “I’m fine.”
Sometimes they don’t know how to explain what they feel.
And sometimes, we misinterpret warning signs as:
- Laziness
- Drama
- Attention-seeking
- “Normal teenage mood swings”
That misunderstanding can be fatal.
Are We Missing Undiagnosed Mental Health Disorders?
Adolescents can suffer from:
- Major Depressive Disorder
- Anxiety disorders
- Adjustment disorder
- Perfectionism-driven burnout
- Panic disorder
- Emerging personality vulnerabilities
Many students silently experience:
“I am not good enough.”
“If I fail, I am worthless.”
“I cannot face my parents.”
When such thoughts go unchallenged and untreated, they grow stronger.
Mental illness is not always loud.
Sometimes it is quiet and deadly.
Why “Wait and Watch” Is Dangerous
One of the most common parental approaches I see in clinic is:
“Let’s wait.”
“It’s just exam stress.”
“She’ll be fine after results.”
“He’s just being dramatic.”
But emotional crises do not resolve with silence.
When a child shows:
- Persistent low mood
- Sudden withdrawal
- Crying spells
- Talking about death
- Giving away belongings
- Severe anxiety before exams
This is not the time to wait.
This is the time to act.
Early psychiatric evaluation does not label a child.
It protects a child.
What Parents Must Understand
1. Marks Are Temporary. Trauma Is Not.
A child may recover from poor marks.
But harsh words spoken in anger can stay for life.
Statements like:
- “You’ve ruined everything.”
- “How will we face society?”
- “Your cousin scored better.”
These hurt deeply.
Sometimes what pushes a child over the edge is not the exam paper.
It is the fear of parental reaction.
2. Criticize Behavior, Not Identity
Instead of:
“You are useless.”
Say:
“This exam did not go well. Let’s understand what happened.”
Instead of:
“You never work hard.”
Say:
“I can see you’re struggling. How can I help?”
Language matters.
Tone matters.
Safety matters.
3. Emotional Safety Before Academic Performance
A child should feel:
“I can fail and still be loved.”
If that emotional security is missing, the mind begins to link performance with survival.
That is a dangerous psychological equation.
Signs We Should Never Ignore
If you are a parent, teacher, or guardian, watch for:
- Sudden personality change
- Talking about being a burden
- Saying “I don’t want to live”
- Self-harm behaviors
- Extreme reaction to minor setbacks
- Sleep disturbance for weeks
- Panic attacks before exams
- Social withdrawal
Even one of these signs deserves attention.
The Importance of Professional Mental Health Care
Mental health disorders are medical conditions.
They are not:
- Weakness
- Lack of discipline
- Bad upbringing
- “Overthinking”
Depression changes brain chemistry.
Anxiety alters stress response systems.
Suicidal thinking narrows cognitive flexibility.
When a person is suicidal, they are not thinking clearly.
Their mind is in survival panic mode.
Treatment works.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Supportive therapy
- Family counselling
- Medication when indicated
- School-based mental health support
Early intervention saves lives.
Schools Must Also Step Up
Educational institutions must:
- Normalize counselling services
- Conduct emotional resilience workshops
- Train teachers to identify red flags
- Avoid public humiliation for poor performance
- Provide crisis response mechanisms
Academic institutions cannot focus only on rank lists.
They must focus on human lives.
A Message to Parents Reading This
Please ask your child today:
“How are you feeling — not about studies — but about life?”
And listen.
Not to correct.
Not to lecture.
Just to listen.
If they say:
“I’m tired.”
“I’m scared.”
“I feel like I can’t do this.”
Take it seriously.
You may be the difference between despair and survival.
This Is Bigger Than One Incident
The Nagpur tragedy is not isolated.
Student suicides across India are rising each year.
This is not a discipline problem.
This is a mental health crisis.
We must stop glorifying pressure.
We must stop equating marks with identity.
We must stop waiting for visible breakdowns.
By the time breakdown is visible,
it is often already too late.
Final Thoughts
A young life ended after an exam.
But behind that exam was likely:
Unseen pain.
Unspoken fear.
Unaddressed mental illness.
Unmet emotional needs.
Let this not be just another headline.
Let it be a turning point.
Because prevention is possible.
Intervention is possible.
Support is possible.
Silence is not.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek help immediately.
No exam is worth a life.
No mark sheet defines a child.
And no family should have to learn this lesson through tragedy.
Dr. Rameez Shaikh (MBBS, MD, MIPS) is a consultant Psychiatrist, Sexologist & Psychotherapist in Nagpur and works at Mind & Mood Clinic. He believes that science-based treatment, encompassing spiritual, physical, and mental health, will provide you with the long-lasting knowledge and tool to find happiness and wholeness again.
Dr. Rameez Shaikh, a dedicated psychiatrist , is a beacon of compassion and understanding in the realm of mental health. With a genuine passion for helping others, he combines his extensive knowledge and empathetic approach to create a supportive space for his patients.
