Anger—it’s something we all feel. But when it starts creeping into every aspect of your life, it can feel like it’s taking the wheel, steering you down a path you don’t want to be on.
As a psychiatrist, I’ve seen countless people who didn’t realize just how much their anger was controlling them until it was almost too late. It sneaks up on you, often disguised as something else—stress, frustration, or even fatigue. But make no mistake, when anger is in charge, it can wreak havoc on your relationships, health, and happiness.
Let’s break it down. If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, don’t worry. We’ll also cover some strategies to regain control.
1. You Have a Short Fuse—Over Little Things
You know that feeling when someone cuts you off in traffic, and suddenly, you’re ready to scream? If minor inconveniences are setting you off, it’s a telltale sign. I once had a client who found himself losing his temper over a misplaced sock! It’s not about the sock, it’s about the unresolved anger bubbling underneath.
2. You Hold onto Grudges
When anger is in the driver’s seat, forgiveness takes a backseat. Holding onto resentment not only strains relationships but also keeps your anger alive. I often ask my patients, “Are you angry at them, or are you angry at yourself for allowing it to fester?”
3. Your Relationships Are Suffering
Has your partner or friend said, “You’re always so angry lately”? If the people close to you are noticing, that’s a red flag. Anger often pushes others away, and before you know it, you’re isolated.
4. You Use Sarcasm as a Weapon
Sarcasm can be funny, but when it’s your go-to response for everything, it might be masking deeper anger. As a form of passive-aggression, it allows anger to seep out in less direct but still damaging ways.
5. You Feel Physically Tense All the Time
Anger doesn’t just live in your head—it affects your body too. Chronic anger often manifests as tension, headaches, or even digestive issues. One of my patients described it as “carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.” Your body could be sending you signals long before your mind does.
6. You’re Always Defending Your Anger
If you find yourself saying, “Well, they deserved it,” or “I had a right to be mad,” you might be justifying unhealthy anger. There’s a difference between righteous anger and letting it rule your actions.
7. You’re Quick to Blame Others
When anger is in control, it’s easy to point the finger at others. But as I always tell my clients, blame keeps you stuck. Anger thrives on externalizing responsibility.
8. You Have Trouble Letting Go
Anger is sticky. If you find it hard to let go of incidents, big or small, it’s likely that your anger is lingering. It’s like playing a mental loop of the same frustrating experience—over and over again.
9. Your Sleep Is Disrupted
Sleep and anger have a complicated relationship. Anger can keep you up at night, and poor sleep can exacerbate your irritability. It’s a vicious cycle. Many of my patients notice their anger spikes when they’re tired.
10. You Feel Out of Control
When anger reaches a tipping point, it can feel like you’re no longer in the driver’s seat. That’s when people say things they don’t mean or do things they later regret. If you feel like you’ve lost control over your reactions, it’s time to pause and reflect.
How to Stop Anger From Taking Over
Here are some ways to take back control:
- Practice Mindfulness: A daily mindfulness routine can help you recognize your triggers and prevent an outburst before it happens.
- Breathing Exercises: Deep breaths signal your body to calm down, interrupting the anger response.
- Talk to Someone: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, getting an outside perspective can be incredibly helpful. Sometimes just voicing your feelings reduces their intensity.
- Physical Activity: Exercise is a proven stress-reliever. Even a short walk can help diffuse anger.
- Set Boundaries: Sometimes, the best way to control your anger is to remove yourself from situations that provoke it. It’s okay to take a step back.
Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. For personalized help, please consult a mental health professional.
Dr. Rameez Shaikh (MBBS, MD, MIPS) is a consultant Psychiatrist, Sexologist & Psychotherapist in Nagpur and works at Mind & Mood Clinic. He believes that science-based treatment, encompassing spiritual, physical, and mental health, will provide you with the long-lasting knowledge and tool to find happiness and wholeness again.
Dr. Rameez Shaikh, a dedicated psychiatrist , is a beacon of compassion and understanding in the realm of mental health. With a genuine passion for helping others, he combines his extensive knowledge and empathetic approach to create a supportive space for his patients.
